Memory Lane

Every where I go. The streets I drive on. The stores I see. The houses around. The restaurants to serve. So many place that I have been in these past 5 1/2 years. My memories of Robert are in full swing. I see him and us together in each and every one of these places. I see him walking around. I see him smiling and having his smirk on his face. We strolled through aisles together. We sat at many tables and shared our hearts and our lives together.

I remember his touch. I remember his smell. I am remembering everything about him. The reason that I loved him. The reason it hurts so much not to have him. The reason we were together. We spent as much of our waking time together as we could and as time allowed.

The tears come because we loved so much. We were one with each other. We moved as one. I supported him in his call and dream to run the store.

What I am left with now are the memories of him and I together. Never being able to touch or feel him again. Or to hear his voice. And all of our goofy times together. The times we laughed. The times we watched a sentimental movie and I could hear his little 'mmmm'. Don't think I ever saw a tear but I could hear him and know when something touched his heart so deep.

Right now it's allowing the memories to come and trusting God to catch me on the other side. To have a hope that God will one day restore my life and bring a joy back and a reason for living.

So for now, I walk down memory lane and trust that God is there leading me as I go.