Losing your spouse is kind of like the movie Ground Hog day. Each day Bill Murray would wake up and it kept repeating itself. He knew what was coming next and then he would try to fix something but then each morning, the same thing would repeat.
So, is losing your spouse. It feels like a nightmare that you can not wake up from. From the time your eyes open in the morning, that deep knowing that life is not the same. You go about your day and try to wake yourself up from the reality that your spouse is gone.
I have taken up ball room dancing and learned that I love it. Today, I talked with a nurse who is starting a walking program here in my neighborhood at Christopher Newport University (CNU). And of course while she was talking with me, she kept asking if I was ok. She could tell something was going on. It was just one of my moments where the tears come and not much I can do. So, I now have gained a 'new' friend to call if I need to talk. Very nice lady and she introduced me to a website www.meetups.com. I found a couple of groups on there that look interesting.
This afternoon I was so tired of spending so much time here trying to make all the necessary calls and take care of business, I went out shopping. Found some new cloths. It's time for a new look. I'm trying to think about what is good for me with walking, eating right, gaining friends and getting things in order.
Will I learn all the lessons I need to during this season of my life. Will my nightmare ever cease? To find the love of your life and have him for such a short time. Robert and I were so much a like. He was like a glove that fit my hand. He completed me and it felt good. We enjoyed each other and our friendship. God truly blessed me with a wonderful man. It was just too short of time.
The joy of my heart has been taken.
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