Tears for mom

It's been almost three months since losing my mom. Finally yesterday, I had tears for her and only her. Losing her three months after my husband, my grief and tears have been for Robert. At the time of her death through the visitation and funeral, it made me miss my husband more and tears have continued to be my friend almost every day.

Now being home where I grew up, I have been going through all of mom's belongings. The special things that she had placed value upon. The things that brought her joy. Her creativity of sewing, quilting, painting, crocheting, baking and so on. Her house was full of the life she offered.

Chosing carefully all that I wanted to keep and to be able to let go, I have seperated the items. Opening up the house to family members and two of mom's closest friends to come and pick items that would remind them of mom. Seeing joy and laughter once again here in the house. Mom loved humor and had it till the day she died. She always held a positive outlook on life and had a word that would bring laughter into life.

It has finally been in the last two days that my tears have found a way to come for mom. Seeing her sister and the two friends chose their items. The memories of mom with them have surficed bringing an outpouring of tears. There was a joy in watching them. I know mom would have loved the moment and desired for them to have her belongings rather than just giving them away to strangers or throwing them out. It took her 73 years to live her life and chose these things.

The biggest gift mom gave was her faithfulness with God, always going to church and being very giving. Every Sunday, we as a family went to church, unless we were sick or on vacation. For 12 years I had perfect attendance in Sunday School and have the little pins that they give at the end of each year. And for 18 years, mom and dad supported me in my call into missions. I know deep down that they desired for me to be home but yet they supported my decision.

One of mom's favorite things she would always tell me 'It will all work out.' And I found a husband that would continue to speak those same exact words. Their faith was deep. Both mom and Robert were born on the same day and died in the same year. And I can hear both of them saying 'It will all work out.'

In the midst of the heavy cloud that lingers on my life right now with such a great loss, I continue to look to the One who gave the best gift of all. Our Heavenly Father, who gave His only begotton Son, Jesus, who died for our sins.

I know He is catching my tears and bringing His Healing Hand into my life. The tears today were finally for mom and mom alone.

May you rest in peace, Betty Josephine Krug, till the day that I will be reunited with you, dad, Debbie and Robert. I love and miss you all.