Help for a Hurting Heart

Where do I start? I am now over six months since I last talked to my husband. No warning. No way to prepare. It's not only losing my husband but losing my family, both my mom and my dad all within two years. It is these three people that I have been spending my days and vacations with. And now, I find myself afternoon to afternoon, to evening to evening sitting here by myself. The weekends get long. It is me that needs to reach out but yet physically I am tired and don't feel like reaching out to anyone any more. There are times during the days that I need to get with my lawyer and different folks. I still have legal issues going on with both my husband and my mom's death.

The anxiety in my heart is starting to build up in the afternoons. This just started about a week ago. But part of it, I believe, is that I am preparing to take a trip to Illinois and go through my mom's house. Still have some major decisions to make.

The pain, the hurt of not being able to talk to my husband is unbearable. To be able to feel his touch and hear him tell me everything is going to be okay.

Here I am in Newport News, a place where I moved to be with my husband almost five years ago. Trying to create a life in a city that is foreign land to me. I have gained many friends but yet, it's not the same as having family who come or call and check in on you. Waking up to a body beside you, one that you would kiss and tell them you would see them later.

There is a hole that needs to be healed. There is a God above, His name is Jesus, and I need His Healing touch.

Thank you Jesus that we can call upon you. Thank you for your Healing Hand.