Finding My Way

There has been much time since I last wrote on here. So many emotions and feeling and searching right now in my life. Many unanswered questions and trying to find my way. I will try to back track through 2010 till my life now.

I am now a widow. How did I get here? Five years ago something wonderful happened in my life, a dream fulfilled to finding myself losing the love of my life. And now finding my emotions be on a roller coaster and finding tears to be my best friend, as they are always near and like to show up whenever they want to.

People tell me I'm doing good. Inside I feel I'm falling to pieces. How do you make sense of life and moving on with life without your husband.

God's Hand of Grace has been carrying me. Although, the shock and bubble that I had been in has pretty much vanished. The reality of life without Robert is setting in. It's walking through grief and recognizing the feeling that I'm going through. Facing each day with God's help.

On October 4, 2012, Robert passed away. I wrote four letters that I posted on Facebook of the last 4 days with him and before his visitation and funeral. Then, December 7, 2012 my mom had a stroke. I flew home to spend Christmas with her and on December 29, she passed away. This being less than 2 years since my dad dying on January 22, 2011. The 3 closest people to me.

How do I make sense of my life? I'm in Newport News because of Robert. I moved here to be with him. And now, I find myself trying to recreate a life for myself.

Finding my way....when Life doesn't make sense....

Trusting The Lord to continue healing me and bring joy back into my life.