When tragedy hits home

 

In memory of my late husband, Robert

March 18, 1963 - October 4, 2012

When tragedy hits home, how do we respond? What is the affect that it takes on the body? Where does our strength come from? What if we look normal and no one can see the struggles we go through?

When you think you are strong enough to move forward, when you push yourself ahead, only to find that the weakness is still there. Learning to take one day at a time and enjoy the blessings that God has surrounded you with. We are called to live one day a time, but many, under pressure and stress try to push forward into the next day, year, 10 years. But yet, God gives us manna and grace for one day. Not taking anything more or anything less but what will fill you for that one day.

The third anniversary of my late's husband's death is soon approaching, October 4. Even though, I have moved forward and God has blessed me with another husband for the last year and a half, and a beautiful daughter, the consequences of his death still takes a toll on my body, mind and emotions. The world says move forward, let the past go. God says 'Rest in me.' I don't have to compare my grief with another's grief. I don't have to compare my story to anyone else's. God has given me my life to live the journey that He set forth for me. Nothing is a surprise for The Lord. I can be secure in the grace that God gives me to live each day. To be the blessing of those closest to me. And I have the hope that The Lord is using me in ways that I don't see.

My desire since knowing The Lord on June 19, 1988 has been to make a difference for Him. The Lord has taken me around the world, 13 different countries, and touching many nations with friends along the way. This little, shy, farm girl who had no voice listened to The Lord. It's a choice that I will never forget and don't regret. And now, living in a huge city and attending a church the size of my small town. I know that God has not forgotten me and He knows right where I am. The confidence of knowing The Lord and Him being Lord over my life was sealed the day I lost Robert. The grace and strength The Lord gave me during the time of Robert's death has been unique and quite warming to my heart and mind.

I made a difference in the last five years of Robert's life. And I can only trust that I am making a difference now in ways that I can not see.

Are you walking in God's grace and strength or walking in your own? The Lord says, He will give us rest.'